who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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