ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I need water and some morals
Randomize
