worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Success! We fucked roommates!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
