your room smells of hookers.
And success
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
