capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
