He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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