Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
