I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Randomize
