mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
