Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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