Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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