I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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