id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
