therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
