He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
