Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize