He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
