You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
