I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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