i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize