Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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