Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize