I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
