I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
