"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
