I have demons in me.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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