My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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