i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
