And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
there is glitter all over my balls
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