meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
