I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
