I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
