I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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