Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
