I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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