She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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