you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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