Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
