So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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