Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
