This girl is more easily done than said...
Please, let me fuck your mom
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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