Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
