But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
