actually, I'm a sock model
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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