Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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