is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
