tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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