C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize