Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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