if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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