$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
