Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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