i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
