I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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