Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You were trust falling into bushes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
