All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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