Whatcha textin bout Willis?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
