all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
