Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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