Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I faked an abortion last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
