My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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