During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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