i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
