So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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