It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
