Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
