I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
