I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
