I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
