We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
