My pussy is not your playground.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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