My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
