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uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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