Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"