i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.