4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
