I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
