Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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