apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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